woody allen

For the past week I have felt like this Woody Allen quote:

I broke up with this girl, and they put me with a psychiatrist who said, "Why did you get so depressed, and do all those things you did?" I said, "I wanted this girl and she left me." And he said, "Well, we have to look into that." And I said, "There's nothing to look into. I wanted her and she left me." And he said, "Well, why are you feeling so intense?" And I said, "Cause I want the girl." And he said, "What's underneath it?" And I said, "Nothing." He said, "I'll have to give you medication." I said, "I don't want medication. I want the girl." And he said, "We have to work this through." So, at that point, I took a fire extinguisher from the casement and struck him across the back of his neck.

Bush gives his state of the union address tonight.
I hope he has something, anything to say.

ireland

Ok, well I haven't been blogging for the past couple days due to the fact that I have been doing other things, like schoolwork, writing, photography, botany, cleaning my attic, burying treasure and notes and other things, collecting leaves, and trying to read every book I can. So. Last March, I stopped blogging. And only a couple weeks ago did I resume posting on this page. So much stuff has happened since then, and I will talk about alot of it soon. But for now, here are three shots from my trip to Ireland that I took just before my hiatus. I'll post a few here and there every once in a while. enjoy:

somewhere

I wanna go somewhere with the objective of simply finding something that no one has ever found. I want to take a boat to that far foggy island across the bay in Ireland. I don’t just want to look at things like that anymore, especially in photographs. I want to take my own row boat, maybe with some others, and step my own feet down on that land. If people live there, I want to meet them all. If that ground lays uninhabited, I want to explore It all. And if the soil there is the same, and the trees there grow just as tall. At least I can say that I know that they do. At least I will know.

Earth Google

Tonight, I got on google earth and used the satellite program to retrace my last night/morning in New York City. It was so emotional, partly because those were the six best hours of my life. I feel so nostalgic as I think about impersonating Holden Caulfield and traveling around Times Square, Central Park, and the Upper East side during those long, cold hours a few days before Christmas. I hope to go back to that city again very soon, there's just something about it. I can't describe how amazing it is.

The Golden Globes, and, an epiphany as to why I am so weary

Tonight, by total accident, I stumbled upon the 63rd annual golden globes ceremony on television. I was quite shocked that I didn’t know that this was even on tonight, considering I am usually very aware of what is happening as far as movies and entertainment, etc. But there it was, right there. I had to rub my eyes and watch for a few minutes just to discern that this was actually an original program, and not a re-run of some past show. As the show progressed, and the hundred celebrities each had their turn to talk about themselves and talk about their dresses and suits and talent and themselves, I suddenly found myself completely bored with the people that were so hypnotizing to me when I was younger.

Every celebrity was being treated like a god, as they all sat down in the main ballroom, and the ceremony began. But there was no excitement whatsoever. The tension that seems so visible on most nights was completely gone as Queen Latifah and other entertainers tried so desperately to rile up an audience of statues. Each face was less than bored, they were frozen. As the cameras panned around the room, the people that were so vibrant in front of the crowds and flashes suddenly were turned to stone, without any visible interest in what was occurring. Nominations and speeches occurred. Clooney made a quip about Jack Abramoff’s name in relation to a slang term for masturbation. And so on and so on. Nothing was memorable about the show, other than a three second shot of Jeffrey Katzenberg and a win by Paul Newman, everything else was just so uninteresting. This ceremony happens once a year, and for some reason, this felt so old. Everything about it was rehashed. Desperate Housewives, Lost, 24, House, they all just blur together to indifferent likeness.

I’m not sure why I’m feeling so cynical and saddened by such a trivial thing, but it just seems that I’ve lost something. I don’t feel the same way as I did about things like the Golden Globes. The narcissism of the celebrities in front of the thousand cameras seemed to be the only reason that they smiled. The movies and shows were just irrelevance. Maybe I’ve grown up or matured or something, but maybe this is something more. Since a few weeks ago, a lot of me has changed. My outlook on a lot of the things around me has changed. It’s like I just found a reason to know that a lot of this stuff just doesn’t matter as much as it seems. And we shouldn’t dignify it to anything more than it is. We have to understand that these small things belong down here, with us. We should not make them higher than we are.

2006

to all my friends that have been missing my blog, i want to say happy new year. i dont know if i am going to blog consistently over 2006, but i wanted to wish you all the very best.

god bless you

Alright...

I am back. After a few days of sickness and a two week trip to Ireland, I will take up where I left off. Ireland snapshots and other ramblings are soon to come.

Bowling and the Bright Lights

Reds and Golds and Yellows

A wet day's green pictures

wet Green pictures

Interim Term

Interim term has begun and with all the extra time that comes with having two weeks of no homework or tests, I will be taking pictures almost every day. The site will be updated regularly, so stop by to see the photos daily. The images...

If Winter Ends

and i scream for the sunlight or a car to take me anywhere
just get me past this dead and eternal snow
because i swear that i am dying, slowly but its happening
and if the perfect spring is waiting somewhere
just take me there and lie to me and say it's going to be alright,
its going to be alright.

.

Listen to Bright Eyes.

On the Road

"So in America when the sun goes down and I sit on the old broken-down river pier watching the long, long skies over New Jersey and sense all that raw land that rolls in one unbelievable huge bulge over to the West Coast, and all that road going, all the people dreaming in the immensity of it... the evening star must be drooping and shedding her sparkler dims on the prairie, which is just before the coming of complete night that blesses the earth, darkens all rivers, cups the peaks and folds the final shore in, and nobody, nobody knows what's going to happen to anybody besides the forlorn rags of growing old, I think of Dean Moriarty, I even think of Old Dean Moriarty the father we never found, I think of Dean Moriarty."

On the Road is an amazing piece of literature.

It's just an escape, it's overrated anyways

From a removed corner with a couple of friends, I observed my high school at a party last night. I saw many things, I realized alot of what I don't want to be, I realized how so few of the people around me have themselves together, I realized how hard it truly is. As I watched, I began to question myself: of the people here, who do I want to model myself after? It appears to me that there are two paths to take at this point in my life. Never once have these roads presented themselves more clearly, but never once have I been more confused by them.

I don't know whether to become involved in the actions that appear so enticing, that lead to such happiness, that cause such trouble. But on the other hand, I do not want to be sitting in the back of the room, bored with no expression, waiting for something to happen. "This is the best night of my life", a friend said as he clumsily fell into my lap, interrupting my thoughts. Like him, I see some of my friends heading down the road that so many have taken. It starts now, slowly widening into an array of things that provide heightened momentary joy and heightened long-term problem. I suddenly began to notice a certain group, a group of a couple of seniors that seemed to have it all together. They were in the middle of everything, having a good time, but not out of control, not like the others. I have always admired these three of four guys, but not like I do now. As I left the dance, I was very discouraged. It had been a fun time, but the night left a bittersweet feeling. A later discussion with a few friends seemed to clear some of it up, we seem to hold the same vision for ourselves for the next years, but I am still very confused. I am still confused.